The analogy was that our lives were like a series of circles around a core, getting bigger on the outside as we extended our group of those we associated with. This analogy has been around for forever, pertaining to a number of topics and looks like this:
So when they do or say something that offends, frightens or angers us, they create a ripple in our lives. Those closest to us, create the most waves and we feel the effects of their ripples most strongly because they are close enough that we get splashed onto. But those on the outer limits, have a far less impact. By the time their ripples reach us, it may be enough to rock the boat, but rarely will it tip us over. We can usually sail right through these waves and not give it much thought.
All my life, until recently, I kept everyone on the outer circles. That way, nothing could get to me. But, as I started to find like-minded people, I began to allow people into the closer circles. This created chaos. I wasn't mentally or emotionally strong enough, so handle their waves. They tossed me over board, every single time.
I would react so strongly, that my waves affected everyone around me, even those who kept me on their outer edges.
So I started to help myself. I took course after course. Saw counsellor after counsellor. And slowly, it began to settle. I lost a lot of people overboard along the way, but I kept a couple experts who rode the hell outta the waves like a champion surfer. And I began to find a balance of where to keep people in my life, and how to react...better. Less monsoon like. Less tidal wavey.
This balance has brought around a sense of peace. I'm still working on things, and I know it'll be a work in progress for likely my lifetime, but I'm here. Finding a calm amidst the storm.