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The Good Shepherd Blog

"True Heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost." - Arthur Ashe Reid

Truth Tuesday

5/9/2018

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TRUTH TUESDAY


Many times a week I am messaged and asked for advice. More often than not, I have plenty of advice, but I've never met the dog. I have no idea what this dog's temperament is, how it reacts to stimuli, what it's physical condition is, or what it's response to reward vs correction is. I may have a good description given by the owner, and I'll guarantee you that it almost always includes the line, "we love him/her but...".


Let me tell you that it's almost impossible to describe a situation involving a living, breathing thing, and get an accurate piece of advice based on your individual canine and individual circumstances and situation. Plenty of times how an owner depicts a dog, is skewed. They can be too soft or too hard on the dog. Sometimes both. Almost always, they have a biased opinion, wether good or bad.


Past this, you wouldn't call up a mechanic, describe a weird sound and then proceed to try and fix it on your own...would you?


My time, my expertise, my opinion...and my advice...are worthy. They are valuable and I spent thousands of dollars and thousands of hours honing my skills. I've learned off trainers far superior to myself, and I've worked my ass off to live solely off of dogs. Nothing else. Just dogs.


I consider myself a fair individual. I try to never overcharge. Ask my friends how easy it is to get me to take their money haha I keep all my fees within the "middle" range of my industry. I have giveaways, packaged prices, and I donate my time to causes that speak to my soul. I've also been known to help a sista out now and again. I LIKE helping people. I won't charge you extra when your consult goes over the hour mark, my boarding is per night vs per day (this makes a huge difference over time!), and I don't charge you mileage. Ever. I put my resources back into my passion. Building new outdoor pens, attending seminars, purchasing new equipment, expanding my dog club needs...and it's all Just. Me. I am a one man operation with a lot of amazing volunteers.


I'll continue to be that person, no matter what other trainers say. No matter what other trainers charge. No matter what I miss out on. I'm ok with where I'm at. I enjoy my life. I get to do the things I love, and spend my time with the people who matter. I don't have to work away and miss out on my life. I get to truly LIVE my life.


So the truth is, please consider me worth your while. When you have an issue crop up, and I've never met your dog, please book a consultation. Take a class. If not from me, from a trainer that suits your needs. There's plenty of good ones out there. Find your person. And if you do that, what I can promise you, is lifelong support of that dog. I won't ever leave you guys behind. Cause you're my people too. 💜🐺🐾🔮
Pictures of me at age 12 working my first dog, and 20 years later, still obsessed with it.
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A Reminder For Myself...

5/3/2018

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Was sent this picture this morning. A crazy, sad reminder. The devastation that was going on inside, didn't compare to the devastation I was surrounded by. I think this was a moment of sudden realization...how insignificant I really am. How easily everything can be taken away. That day, I made a new family. One built on a common goal of helping others. A bond forged with complete strangers. Emotions, trust...both were shared in a time of complete chaos. I'm often grateful for each and every one of you that I experienced this time with. Each of you has gone on to help me out personally, since our chance meeting. Each of you have given me hope, hands that moved, faith, ears that listened, laughter and a place to continue to heal. You were much more than Fort McMurray relief, you were also my own personal saviours. I don't know how to even begin to repay you for your kindness and love. Maybe one day you too, shall need me back. And I will be here. A thousand times. 💜🔥#AlbertaStrong
Alanna Davidson Jesse Gallagher Barry Cherneske Casey A. Johnson-Dunlop Bruce Dunlop Joe Bulhoes
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Truth Tuesday

4/26/2018

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Train you mind, and your dog's.

TRUTH TUESDAY


Mental Health is just as important as physical health.


Most of us know this on a human level. We need to take just as good care of the mind as we do the body. For myself, I spent a few years focusing on my mental health OVER my physical health. Now it's time to focus on both again 😳🤣 We even compensate for the partners and spouses in our lives. We help them when they can't help themselves. We understand that often times inappropriate human behaviour is often a result of a lack of something or too much of something. Not enough mental or physical exercise, too much stimulation in our direct environment, poor nutrition, addictive behaviours, unaddressed post traumatic stress. And there's times when we need to step up for our human. Take their behaviours and help them find a way to manage them. Be the 80% when they can only muster 20%. Love them, but also help them set boundaries. Eventually, with enough respect, love and patience...you can help them find balance.


Some times the behaviours are too much for people. They can't or won't, be able to help another. It takes a special relationship to truly help a person overcome trauma, or correct a habitual behaviour. Rarely can we overcome these things without help. For myself, I had many people come and go during my mental health journey to balance. I had a lot of heavy past trauma to deal with. The load was great, and I put too much of that load on certain people. It pushed them away and eventually I came to rely on my service dog and a few select humans. I understood dogs and they understood me. Eventually I found a sort of peace. It was through support, love and hard work that I learned to control my reactions and find calm. I never thought I'd be the person who does yoga every day and utilizes canine and equine assisted therapy. Yet here I am, rocking it.


So whether the journey to peace is a mental, physical or spiritual journey (if we're being honest they tend to be two or all three in the end), we can all typically relate on some level. We need one another to survive and we need a new routine.


The same is true for our canine partners.


Mental stimulation is just as important as physical. Poor nutrition and under utilized working breeds are often a huge part of the problem when it comes to our dogs behaviours. Many times they are also dealing with too much stimulation in their direct environment and not enough mental and physical stimulation. The result can be the same as us: poor behaviours and over the top reactions. These can manifest as: digging, excessive barking, destructive chewing, separation anxiety, aggression or the inability to remain calm around other dogs, people, animals or vehicles.


Dogs also need our love, support and patience to overcome these things. We need to understand where their reactions are stemming from, and help them on a journey to balance.


What is your dog missing in their life? Do they need more exercise? More training? Less sitting around?


I can confidently mention that it is my belief that apart from trauma, most dog's behaviours are human created. We get a German shepherd and lock them in a small yard. We have kids and our dogs become a very small priority. We start our border collie in agility and never fallow through. We ignore it when our dog barks at a stranger, then panic when months later it turns into a nip. Then a bite. We leave it until it's gone too far. We're willing to put in the effort to help find personal balance, but get overwhelmed and defeated when it comes to managing our dogs
mental and physical health.


So when seeking balance with canines, we need to begin to give them what we would give our spouse. 100% when they can't muster anything but to fall apart. The dedication to get to the root of the problem. And a new routine.


Just as we need one another, our dogs need us. And we need each other. If you don't know where to start, reach out. There's so many willing and talented trainers in this area. Find one that suits your style. Put in the work. Make your dog a priority. Be their support. Start a routine. Find balance.


💜🐕🐾
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My Balaced pack- Pistol, Kitana, Vandal and Bosco

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Truth Tuesday - April 10th edition

4/10/2018

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TRUTH TUESDAY


My cousin paying tribute 💜this gave me goosebumps to see! It's the ultimate idea of "we are one". Every walk of life, every profession, every Canadian...mourns. This guy is the ultimate hockey dad! And he's also dedicated his life to serving and protecting us...but there's just some things you can't always protect. Accidents, tragedies...these things aren't a drug bust or domestic call. This is random and unpredictable and inconceivable. Yet, these guys will go out everyday and still, do their damnedest to try and never let any of us know this level of hurt. Every single day by monitoring our highways and responding to these calls when no one else would have the strength to. All of them would. Every single first responder deserves a tip of our hats. I just had a conversation about taking your hat off in places as a sign of respect. And this here, is the ultimate sign of respect. We remove cover for the anthem at every single hockey game across the nation. And so in this time...what a brilliant homage to leave his hat as a symbol of character. And love. I wish I had a "profession" hat to lay next to this. As we all take the time to put out sticks out, let us too, take off our caps and bow our heads as a collective, gesture of united love and togetherness. And as a tip of the hat to everyone who just did what was needed to be done in a time of utter chaos.


So today's truth?


Love one another.


I'd be remiss if I didn't take the time to acknowledge what has hit so, so close to home for so many families.


My own family, years ago, billeted players in this exact level of hockey. The AJHL. You may have a child playing the game, taking buses, leaving home to play...in whatever sense this tragedy has affected you, it is valid and it is real and you are allowed to feel it.


As these men ate, slept and breathed hockey, so do we with dogs. So for me, I kept thinking about my dog club family. How it would feel to lose one, never mind an entire group of them. We've spent thousands of hours together discussing, diagnosing, correcting, rewarding, playing, crying, rejoicing...we've laughed at each others goofs...cried in each other's losses...and celebrated each and every victory, no matter how small. We're a family. And to lose a member would be devastating.


Hockey's community is devastated.


So today, the truth is...love one another. Work hard, show up, train fair...out there on the field, it's just you and your dog. You're a team. You need one another to become that. And the thing that unites us is the theme of this picture. Love and respect.


Each and every time something has come up in my world, I relied on my dog family. They were my community. Even now, as I lose my best friend Bosco, they rally behind me with acts of love, respect...and support.


So let us remember to support one another in this time, and in all times.


Find your community. Find your tribe. Love them hard.
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One Year Ago Today I Changed My Own Life With THIS Post...Today I Still Live This Truth.

4/2/2018

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Today at the barn 🐄I learned big, giant, huge lessons. I have been learning these lessons for months now...on how to live💃🏼. And love❤️️. On how to let go and how to handle oneself when faced with challenges😳. Today, the daughters favourite sheep🐏 died (Mary, the one who had a little lamb). And man did she love that sheep. Like I love Bosco kinda love💞. And she missed school, but as barn boss said "now she knows what it's going to be like to truly have this life." Yup. You give and you give. You stay up all night🌙 with these animals that you love. You spend hundreds, even thousands💸 trying to save them. And yet, still, you lose them⚰️. This applies to cows, sheep, horses, dogs...all the animals in our lives. And so, she was learning to let go💔. After work, I got to apply a massive lesson that Theo (barn boss) himself taught me. How to handle a shitty situation. (How to deal with a friend screwing you over so badly...it feels like you're failing at life over and over. Trusting people, only to find out they never cared enough to take their responsibilities and handle their choices. Instead, it's all on me for "being too trusting". I'll be that person 1000 times before I'll ever be the guy you can't rely on...) Anyways, you can scream😡 and freak out...or you can determine your karma based on how you choose to react. Year ago me would have had a hay day (pardon the pun). Like epic friendship ending, crush them with my words kinda stuff. But today, I chose love💚. I chose to breathe. I chose to adult up, take the hit, and keep moving forward. Theo taught me that. He taught me that over and over with his endless patience and understanding. And that's how a businessman gets things done. That's how they continue to thrive. And how their business becomes a passion...or rather, how a passion becomes a business. A good one. With a solid name and the guts to do this crazy life for forever...thank you dairy barn🐮. Another win for our souls. 💜🔮The Universe and Karma...will take care of the rest.
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I'm losing my very best friend

3/12/2018

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I've been processing the reality of what time I have left with Bosco. Last week he was diagnosed with wobbles. Which is a nuerological disorder that affects the spine. Soon, he won't be able to walk. And when this happens, our time together will come to a completion. How...how do you say good bye to 11 years of frustratingly beautiful friendship? It's impossible. And yet, I will have to.


Bosco was...is...not an easy dog. Incredibly talented, extremely intelligent, unwaveringly loyal. He has also always been very dog aggressive. This guy taught me everything I know about patience, unconditional love, determination, perseverance, quick thinking, game plans, new game plans, dedication and never, ever giving up.


Bosco made me a better handler. He changed my life as a dog trainer. He pushed me to try things differently and to find the way when everyone else believed there wasn't one. Ten years ago, he was at his worst. He "couldn't" be controlled. I was told he wasn't fit for the city, and he should probably just be put down. So we bought an acreage and became a dog trainer...the rest, as they say, is history.


Bosco now lives with 3 other dogs. On top of that, he's met and cohabited with dozens more. I know this dog inside and out, and I feel like I've given him a very exceptional life for "a lost cause". I've tried to honour him, the best way I know how. He's been apart of nearly every aspect of my life. He hasn't missed out on much. From camping to horse back riding. Teaching obedience classes, 4H and canine safety, he's also excelled in every aspect of the working dog world I've introduced him to. He's participated in personal protection, tracking, herding, scent detection and even gun dog. There isn't anything I've asked this dog to do, that he wouldn't.


He's been my very best friend.


So, as I prepare myself for such a significant loss, I can't help but smile at the life he's given me. And as I've honoured his life, I couldn't live with myself if I didn't honour his passing. We have the most epic summer tour planned for Bosco. Last horse rides, beach days, visiting pals back home, BBQs with all the burgers he can handle...and then, when he's had enough...we will lay him to rest and thank God for this experience. For a relationship that made me who I am. For a lifetime of memories.


When you have 11 years together, you can't just pick one photo that sums everything up neatly. So here's to all the adventures we found...and the moments that became a life together.


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It's VALENTINES!

2/14/2018

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This was taken a lot of years ago, just before things got really bad. And the last few weeks have really been a time of reflection for me on how truly far I've come with my healing, and how balanced it feels now, compared to then...
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This last year has been especially rewarding, but has also really challenged my new way of being. Making sure things have stuck. I love the Universe that way, always challenging...yet always providing. Having us rise up, so that we can learn over and over that we are enough, and we all have everything we need inside of us to be happy, healthy, calm and resilient.
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From rodeo chaos, that brought a level of bonding I wasn't sure I could trust myself to ever find again. For finding love, receiving love...and for giving love.
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To really upping the anti in the dog world with our visions of combining mind, body and soul. Taking the ego out, and bringing the passion back in.
To working hard, finding the ultimate guide of how you treat employees, and discovering meanings through cattle you didn't know were possible.
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To honouring a best friend, and finding him comfort and grace in his last years. All our friends deserve to be taken care of.
To taking back my life in the Dominican. Finding the courage to take a leap outside that comfort zone, and having the absolute time of my life.
So...to those of you who constantly harass me that everything happens for a reason...I begrudgingly say to you: you are right.


Sorta.


This guy, the guy at the top...he was my One. He is my One. He broke me. But he also broke me open. And that's the difference between something that just is, and something that just is meant to be.


The reason he happened...was so that he could take my shit, until I could handle the pile myself. He happened so that I could finally face all the shame, guilt, sadness, trauma and hurt that was built up from years of repression. Repression that expressed itself as anger, frustration, anxiety, confusion and chaos...total and complete chaos. He happened to show me the way to myself.
The only piece that still hurts, is the ego. The idea that he meant so much to me, and I, have likely already been forgotten, and replaced. The thought that while he was my Romeo, I was not his Juliette. Feeling such a strong, powerful, spiritual connection forming. The willingness to break...and grow together. All that not being reciprocated, is what still hurts. HOWEVER!
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The counselling, the courses, the medication, choices, hypnotherapy...yoga, horses and nature...
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All of these were just a path in the overall journey. It was one of those fucked up paths were you thought you knew where you were going, but NOPE! Here's a cliff. Now here's some scattered tools, a lifeline and a calendar year to figure it out before you die...seriously. That's what it felt like.


So you grab those tools and you swing wildly until something starts to make sense. And you reach out to the lifeline, and they hold your gaze until it's over. Then you take four years and 37 days to figure it out, because we all heal on our own time...and don't you ever forget that.
So once you claw yourself back to the beaten trail, you take a deep breath and you take stock. You realize you've lost a lot of lifelines, and maybe you were only given that one for another reason. A reason this story isn't about. A whole separate story of its own that you will make sure to acknowledge later...so there's far fewer lifelines, but up ahead you see a tribe. You feel like you belong again. For now. And you deeply understand this reason, season and lifetime concept.
So now you're starting to rise up from the ashes. You're grateful for those of your past playing their part in your story. And while you only miss One, you start to really find a peace with the grief...with the loss. You finally understand "The Raven".
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And so I give you this. You were only sorta right because it's what we choose to do with all these moments that really makes the difference. Do we make the commitment to do better, be better...know better. Or do we give up on life and cease to carry on? It's the choices we make with the circumstances that we are given...that make or break you.


My advice? For what it's worth, from my experiences alone...Losing your way, is not the same as giving up. Make note of that. You are allowed to crumble, collapse, fall and skin your knees. Just get back up. Let the anger, frustration, confusion, shame, guilt and trauma be felt. Let it have its moment in your existence. Just don't let the anger, frustration, confusion, shame, guilt and trauma define you. Or your lifetime.


Feel the hurt. Lose your mind. Then take back your life. Hold your head up. Forgive yourself. Continue to be better. Every day.
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I've chosen to remain single for two years now because I absolutely refuse to settle. I've also needed the time to relax, rebalance and practice. Lots of practice. While my "the One 2.0" is finding my soul, as is mine his, I will continue to love, forgive, laugh, enjoy and embrace. Sometimes I'll slip, and other times I'll find my grace. But always, I'll do all with only the best of intentions. I'll serve others and also remember to serve myself.


With only peace and love, I hope you have found the greatest relationship in yourself.


Happy Love Day 💜🔮


What a year 🙃
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World Mental Health Day...Gratitude

10/10/2017

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Happy thanksgiving right? Ok, what to be thankful for...there's much out there these days that remind us what we really have. The politics (oh my gawd I wish we could start all over), the ridiculous taxes and laws passed this year (I think they want us to just disappear and die off), and the compete upheaval of my own personal life (admittedly self made)...makes me not thankful, but heartbroken. But through that heart break, I am able to see the things that truly matter. Breath, life, dogs and horses. These things never waiver. They are there, day in and day out, reminding me that there's a purpose to this gift of being human...and that's to give. It's to love. And it's to make mistakes so that we may be able to see the things of importance rather than to continue down a path of unrelenting selfishness. So although I'm heartbroken, it's given me the most thankful attitude I think I could ever muster...it's shown me who really cares...the cousin in the city who makes sure I have food and company...the lady at the bow shop who says "me too" and embraces me as a soul sister...the farmer down the road who welcomed me into his family run operation with patience and kindness...the roller derby women who have no qualms about reminding you how badass you really are...the dogs and horses who have connected my soul straight back to nature...the horse ladies, who have never judged the pain or insecurity within my journey...the movers who never questioned my life, but instead showed love and compassion during a time of self loss...a new friend who didn't care that I'd destroyed all those before her...a dog club that meets every Sunday and always has words of encouragement for themselves and one another, who remind me each week that good people can make mistakes and be forgiven...and a group of people who were strangers at the beginning of a fire, and family by the end of it. I'm beyond thankful for you all.
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Making it...together.

9/24/2017

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I can't rightly tell you exactly when or how our friendship started, but it's quickly become one of my most important. She's changed my view of real, true, meaningful relationships. And she's now one of my favourite humans. What I can tell you is that it started with a dog.
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I've had dozens of women friends. Some I would have placed a bet on being life timers. I was sure they were my besties. My fierce lady friends. However, I'm hard on people...I'm hard to love. This I know. My decent into self destruction, and the follow up rebuilding stage was a time in my life of pushing people away. Finding their limits, then stepping over them. I'm to blame, and I paid the biggest price in losing my best friend in Keith.

I was leery. Walls up. No one was getting in again. Not on a real level. I wasn't going to allow anyone to get to me again...no way. Friendships were defined in my world by hurt, mistrust, pain, abandonment and anger. Megan redefined this for me. It became about love, acceptance, loyalty, trust and joy.
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So, why is she so special? I've asked myself this, I have an answer for it. She allowed me to be me. The hurt, the mistrust, the pain, the abandonment issues and the anger. She helped turn that into loving myself, accepting myself, fierce loyalty, trusting others and living in joy again. She doesn't bat an eye when I switch from redneck spew to hippity dippity babble. Not once has she ever told me to "get over it". She was, is, and I'm sure will continue to be the most epic friend.


She uses phrases like "We have this, I got you", "I'm not letting you go through this alone" and my most recent, personal favourite "Vandal is OURS fair and square". Somewhere along the way, what was hers became mine, and mine hers. She's the kind of friend who walks in, grabs the wine and then listens to your woes til the wee hours of the morning. She values ladies nights, fits you into her life and is always up for a rodeo adventure. She thinks about you, even when she's in the middle of her own personal hell. She stands on the earth in her bare feet with you, and gets up for 5am yoga with you. She changes the radio station before you even get in the truck. She defends fiercely, supports unwaveringly and sends me awkward selfies so I can enjoy her most uncomfortable moments!


And she sends me things like this:
This lady is everything you'd ever want in a friend, then goes the extra mile. I'm pretty sure she has faults, but they tend to go unnoticed when her strengths shine so brightly.


So if you ever get a chance to get into this girls inner circle, don't hesitate. You'll be loved, honoured, helped up, reminded of your worth and held in esteem. When you find a friend like that, you hold onto it.
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Thank you, Megan...for being you, so I am free to be me.
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Choices

9/14/2017

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On the one year anniversary of attending Choices, it's definitely been a journey. One I wouldn't have had the bravery to face alone, without Choices.

When we went, they asked you to take three months after G2, to make any major decisions. I did not wait. I was never patient. But I understand completely now, why they asked that. Three months was not even long enough for me to really understand a lot of the processes and tools that were presented. I stumbled and fell A LOT during those first few months. I always seem to take the long way around! A year later, I have finally taken those three months. And I finally have an answer for what Choices was, and is, to me.

It's self awareness, self acceptance and self love.

It's a common goal for humanity. It's a lifetime commitment to honesty, integrity and the path to peace. It's finding your purpose, and giving it back to others. It's understanding that habits are hard to break, but new habits can take their place...healthy habits. It's truly acknowledging that we are all human. We will all fall. But it's how we learn to fall that matters. In sports they teach us how to properly fall down, in Choices they teach us how to emotionally fall. And how to get back up without guilt, shame or regret. It's reaching out to others, and accepting a hand up. Looking to the sky, with feet planted to the ground. It's balance.

It's also hard work. And the work never stops if you're doing your job well. It's constantly asking yourself, is this who I am? Who I want to be? Then making the course adjustments to sail into your very best life. The very best version, of You. What that looks like is different for everyone, and it's accepting others just they way they are...in the exact moment of their own journey. Kindness, it doesn't cost a damn thing.

So Joe, Mary and Thelma...
Thank You seems so simple. Like not enough. You really are changing hearts, one at a time. If the whole world took Choices in school, we could start a revolution...but then again, you already have. So, Thank You for creating this program, and believing in all of Us, so we could believe in Us too.

And, just like standing up there with that microphone (which was terrifying for me)....My name is Kari, and I am a trusting woman helping others make connections. What choices gave me was, and still is, that I no longer have to justify who I am. I am enough. 💜
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