2016 has been that "don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out" kinda year.🚪(Bye, Felicia!) For not just me, but a lot of people. I lost tons more friends, finally got out of an emotionally abusive relationship, removed even family from my life, and struggled to make it "alone" without all these people🌌. BUT it was also the year I found myself, truly. The year I made new, flexible friends. Cut my anxiety down by about 1000 points. Don't ask me how many points there are total...all I know is I'm lighter. Freer. Happier. 🌄
I rode horses🐴 and hung out with dogs.🐶 All without the guilt and worry that I wasn't doing what I was "supposed" to be doing.🤖 I became ok with the fact that I don't miss kids, oil workers and being told who I was, wasn't good enough. Then being lured back in with fading words of a soul who was too afraid to be alone to just let me go. I'm talking about more than just a spouse, there were many of these hearts trying to "help", in all the wrong ways, for me. They didn't understand my soul is not their soul.🔮 And that's ok. Sometimes it's ok to just not understand each other.
I finally reported my abuser to the authorities,🚔 so they could do, or not do, what they felt was right. And lifted the responsibility and anger from my own shoulders. I started to move past this trauma, at my own damn pace instead of being rushed by those who just wanted me to "get over it".😒 This is my life, not theirs. I heal on my own terms, not yours.
As I look back I realize this year has been about tearing down, and rebuilding.🛠 Fixing what needed fixing. It was about plans and schedules and routines.📋 Creating better habits. Releasing my terrible reactions, and gaining control of my emotions.✌🏼️ Which was needed.
But this year, I'm going to give myself a break. I'm gonna wing it.🎉 I'm gonna stop trying to fix, and just accept. Stop trying to be normal and find the weird and wonderful.🦄 The ones who really are completely themselves. I'm tired of those who talk the talk, but never walk the walk. So if you see me walking out, it's likely because I've decided to take my own advice, and stop talking.🤐🚶
I continue to wish you all love,💜 light,✨ happiness,😃 and as always, a second round of love💞...as you navigate your own lives, in your own beautiful way. Don't ever let anyone tell you the grass is greener,🌱 cause I promise you the flowers off the path...they're blue and yellow and purple and green.💐 And they accept you, just as you are.
To a blessed 2017 💫
I rode horses🐴 and hung out with dogs.🐶 All without the guilt and worry that I wasn't doing what I was "supposed" to be doing.🤖 I became ok with the fact that I don't miss kids, oil workers and being told who I was, wasn't good enough. Then being lured back in with fading words of a soul who was too afraid to be alone to just let me go. I'm talking about more than just a spouse, there were many of these hearts trying to "help", in all the wrong ways, for me. They didn't understand my soul is not their soul.🔮 And that's ok. Sometimes it's ok to just not understand each other.
I finally reported my abuser to the authorities,🚔 so they could do, or not do, what they felt was right. And lifted the responsibility and anger from my own shoulders. I started to move past this trauma, at my own damn pace instead of being rushed by those who just wanted me to "get over it".😒 This is my life, not theirs. I heal on my own terms, not yours.
As I look back I realize this year has been about tearing down, and rebuilding.🛠 Fixing what needed fixing. It was about plans and schedules and routines.📋 Creating better habits. Releasing my terrible reactions, and gaining control of my emotions.✌🏼️ Which was needed.
But this year, I'm going to give myself a break. I'm gonna wing it.🎉 I'm gonna stop trying to fix, and just accept. Stop trying to be normal and find the weird and wonderful.🦄 The ones who really are completely themselves. I'm tired of those who talk the talk, but never walk the walk. So if you see me walking out, it's likely because I've decided to take my own advice, and stop talking.🤐🚶
I continue to wish you all love,💜 light,✨ happiness,😃 and as always, a second round of love💞...as you navigate your own lives, in your own beautiful way. Don't ever let anyone tell you the grass is greener,🌱 cause I promise you the flowers off the path...they're blue and yellow and purple and green.💐 And they accept you, just as you are.
To a blessed 2017 💫
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