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Changed

6/4/2016

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I wasn't directly affected by the wildfire being named "The Beast", nor do I even know anyone who lost their home. But being on the road for the last week, relaying essential goods here and there, fuelling up the fire fighters themselves, and witnessing the massive devastation has likely changed me forever. At least I hope it has.

Some of my clothes are ruined, my truck will smell like smoke for an indefinite amount of time, it may take a week to catch up on all this sleep, and I may be down a few friends. However, clothes and trucks are just material things. Things that can easily be washed or replaced. There will be time to sleep. And I have met some of the best people I have ever known.

Witnessing a natural disaster of this proportion has to change you. I can tell you it will snap your priorities into place quickly. It will leave you both breathless and speechless. It forces you to decide what is truly important.

Time and time again I am hearing stories of material goods not even registering on the radar while people were fleeing with little more than what was on their back. They had their loved ones, and that was all that mattered. I realized in those moments what I had truly lost in my own life. Maybe not to fire, but certainly to the internal restlessness of my own soul. Feeling trapped, lost and hurt. I always knew my purpose and had the drive to get there, but I slowly lost faith as others didn't see my vision the way I did. Recently I had decided to really get in tune with Mother Nature. I decided to cease hunting with a gun, purchased a book on communicating with nature, and developed a friendship with a certain Raven that likes to follow me around. I took time to really enjoy nature, to understand it. I asked for signs, and I was given them. And then she showed myself, and the rest of the world, exactly what she was capable of. But as I experienced all that I did this last week, I really found a sense of hope. Hope mostly for my own life. It was like I had created this own fire within myself that wiped out everything I once new. I had produced a burning that even I myself couldn't contain. It destroyed everything in its path, including the person who was once the most important person in my life.

Now as I looked behind me, I can see spots of new life beginning. It's scary and it's hard to move past what I've done, but like a wildfire, it can't be changed and you just have to look forward. And just like a wildfire; with a lot of hard work, tons of support and the complete destruction of everything I once knew, it is controlled and I can begin to rebuild.

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1 Comment
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1/13/2023 08:26:57 am

Thankks for writing this

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